Is Your Child Really ADHD?

Is Your Child Really ADHD?

In today’s society, most children are diagnosed with ADHD. But do they really have the disorder?

Over the years we have been sensitized to believing that an active child is probably ADHD, while a child who is more laid back is not. There are several factors that play into determining ADHD, and while you may be told your child has or might have ADHD, consider these tips before you agree or disagree.

I have a five year old boy who is very active. I am always being asked by family members, friends and his doctor if I think he is ADHD. The answer is always absolutely not! How do I know? Because I have a nineteen year old daughter I raised with ADHD. There is a big difference between active and ADHD.

I once read in a parenting magazine that a 4 year old has as much energy and burns as many calories as an Olympic athlete. Watching my five year old daily, I agree one hundred percent!

When you think your child has ADHD, one of the biggest things to look for is behavior. Are they constantly misbehaving? Do you feel that all you do is scold or discipline this child? Do you feel there are never good or happy times with this child because they are always misbehaving? Before diagnosing ADHD, consider your disciplinary actions. Are you consistent? Because consistency is the key with any child, whether they are ADHD or not. However, consistency is even more crucial with a child who has ADHD. Another thing to remember is that we as a society have given up traditional values. Maybe you have not, but most people have. Children are not afraid of getting in trouble anymore, or in other words, they are not afraid of their parents. Children used to be afraid of getting in trouble most of the time and avoided it. I’m not saying beat your child, but I do believe in a good ole’ fashion spanking when needed. For example, I have a dear friend who was having trouble with her son at school. He was being very disruptive and disrespectful in his 2^nd grade classroom. The teacher kept insisting to her that he had ADHD and that she could not handle him at all. My friend first talked to him, and explained to him why what he was doing was wrong and unacceptable. But, the behavior continued. She then disciplined him with grounding and taking things of importance away. The behavior continued. Her husband then took over and sat him down to first explain again why this behavior had to stop. He then gave his son a good spanking. The behavior ended and they never had issues like that again.

You see, he did not have ADHD. He needed the fear of consequence brought to his attention again. So, it may not be that he/she has ADHD, you just need to change your disciplinary actions to one that will get his/her attention.

If your child is ADHD, spankings now and then will probably not work. Spankings usually do not work with ADHD children so you will have to get creative with discipline at times. You will need to figure out a punishment suitable for his/her age and be extremely consistent with it. It seemed that no punishment ever worked with my daughter; spankings, grounding, taking stuff of importance away, etc. But, not only are children with ADHD physically active, they are just as active mentally. For a child with ADHD, their mind works like watching a movie in fast forward, and it does not stop. This is where you see the problems with being able to concentrate in school and on anything else for that matter. They cannot concentrate! And because they cannot concentrate, five minutes after you have punished them for something, they don’t care anymore and the punishment is no longer effective! This is why it is so important to stay consistent with them, even if it seems like it is not working. And with ADHD children ,you may have to get drastic with their punishments to prove a point that will take with them, like removing everything from their room or taking all their toys away versus one or two favorites. And one of the reasons ADHD kids do not take to discipline well is because they are very forgetful, which again is a concentration problem. The reward system actually seems to work well with most ADHD children. However, be careful with your rewards. Spending time with you at a movie they want to see or going out to eat or getting an ice cream cone is good. Even trips to the dollar store. Rewards like new toys, CD players, new video games, etc. can lead to trouble later on down the road. This is one of the lessons I learned. My daughters rewards were mostly things that she really wanted and the older she got, the more she just expected to get the newest and latest thing as her rewards. It did not matter to her how much it cost or if we could afford it at the time. Little rewards were no longer effective with her. Consistency, consistency, consistency turns into habit which is one way they process and learn, but be careful with what you are being consistent with!

Concentration habits are another key in determining if they are ADHD or not. Can they sit and color a whole picture? Can they complete a craft, or watch a whole t.v. show or movie through to the end. Can they complete their homework or is it a constant battle to get them to finish it? If they are ADHD, the answer to all the above is no, they cannot complete anything. Again, their minds are racing and believe me, it is more of a problem for them than for you. An active child will be able to do all of the above. If you are having problems with any of the above, try having them do things in portions. They can finish coloring later or completing their craft. Give breaks with homework. I have found with my daughter, that breaking her homework into portions with fifteen minute breaks in-between worked great. This trick also works great for my seven year old son who gets very frustrated with homework he is having difficulty with. Knowing he is getting a break reduces his frustration and everybody is happy.

One more important tool is LISTS! Children with ADHD work much better with lists and are just as important as and a part of consistency. I used lists for chores, homework and cleaning up toys. Each task has to be separated. Telling the child to clean the family room will not work! They do not know where to begin. Making a list of each individual task such as: 1.) dust the tables and furniture. 2.) vacuum, etc., allows them to only have to focus on one thing. The same for picking up toys. Choose something you see laying on the floor to begin with such as all the Barbie clothes, then the Barbies. next the doll clothes and so on and so forth. Do not give them another item to pick up until they are finished with the first. When you give them just a general order to complete they become very overwhelmed and have no clue where to begin.

Having a child with ADHD is very difficult. There were many days I was ready to admit myself to a mental institution! However, an active child is not necessarily ADHD. With advances in technology over the decades (video games, television, texting, computers, etc.), the dwindling of traditional ways of life are causing lazy habits in our children, making us sensitized to believe that a child who is just really active has ADHD. Having an active child is normal and your lucky if you have one or two! But by looking for these signs of ADHD; not able to concentrate most of the time on many things, excessive misbehavior, forgetfulness and difficulty with simple tasks, you can determine whether your child might have ADHD or not. If you feel these signs describe your child then seek a diagnosis and treatment. Also, check into all the treatment options that are available and will work best for your child and family. There are non-medication options available as well.